First, He led me out of the past. For me, this meant taking another look at those painful memories and being prompted by a counselor who asked, "Where was Jesus?" Over time, as I closed my eyes I was able to him close by in every circumstance. I saw his protective, caring eyes as he came to me, covered me with his robe, and walked me out of the various situations.
Jesus, however, didn't just take me away from something, but towards someone-himself. He took me to safe places where he held me as a child, looked at me with loving eyes and stroked my head. After the repeated process of taking me out of past situations and toward him, Jesus also freed me from sin. This happened at one point when I felt a strong feeling of conviction about a particular struggle and was given a "video clip" in my mind of Jesus walking through a crowd of people. I became the woman reaching out to touch his robe. As I did, he turned toward me, reached out his hand, and forgave my sin. It was quick and complete without belaboring my wrongdoings.
This progression of Jesus taking me out of the past, toward himself, and freeing me from sin, led to relationship. Being able to picture Jesus in every aspect of my life, deepened my relationship with him. Fear and shame were replaced with peace and love. And my understanding of the person and work of the Holy Spirit grew exponentially. But there was one more step--wholeness.
I could not be "whole" without experiencing the fullness of God, the Father. This meant not just feeling comforted and close to Jesus and experiencing the presence of the Holy Spirit, but to be able to trust God and accept His love as well. My next "journey" was a "video clip" of a walk with Jesus along a wooded path that led to a stream. As we sat by the stream, God the Father came down the path. At first I felt deep fear, bordering on terror. With those feelings present, the Father paused and did not approach me. Jesus sat with me, reassured me that he is the perfect reflection of his Father, and slowly I allowed myself to feel the warmth of God's love. As I did, God came closer. When I finally found the courage to fully accept His love, they walked with me hand in hand along the path to a campsite. As we sat by the fire, the Holy Spirit came like a ribbon floating through the air and surrounded us, tying a bow around the three of us--the gift of wholeness.
A couple of lines from the worship song, "Mercy, Mercy" (Hillsong United) best captured this journey to wholeness for me that Sunday morning.
"Heaven's story
Breathing life into by bones...
Now I
Find my life in Yours
My Eyes
On Your name"